Tonight’s the night of the Scottish Independence Referendum. As with any major broadcast event, it’s only fitting that people are prepared to participate in a drinking game to ease the passage of the coverage. So here is the quintessential Scottish Referendum Drinking Game (even though there are, I’m sure, hundreds of others available on the internet):
1) Swig of beer every time we see a fluttering Union Jack.
1b) Swig of Scotch for every fluttering Saltire.
2) A finger of Scotch any time someone shouts ‘Fuck her right in the pussy’ on live television.
3) If Charles Kennedy is speaking, you must be drinking.
4) Mouthful of haggis if you can’t understand a Scottish accent.
5) Shotgun a tinny of Irn-Bru if the BBC uses subtitles for a Scottish accent.
6) Finish your drink if an English celebrity comes out in favour of the Union.
7) Take a drink any time a Labour politician mentions the NHS.
8) Take a drink any time an SNP politician mentions the EU.
9) Take a drink any time a Tory politician dismisses a currency union.
10) Spoon of maple syrup any time there’s footage playing of the 1995 Quebec independence referendum.
11) Swig of lager any time there’s footage playing of the 1993 dissolution of Czechoslovakia.
12) Shot of vodka for any mention of the 1905 dissolution of Union between Sweden and Norway.
13) Finish your drink if Flower of Scotland is playing.
14) Refill your drink if God Save the Queen is playing.
15) Finish all alcohol if Prince George comes out in favour of the Union.
16) Drink of Scotch if we visit a whiskey distillery.
17) Open a can of anchovies if we go out amongst the fishing trawlers.
18) Make a forex trade if we visit any financial services institution.
19) Scream and finish your drink if David Cameron mentions his Scottish ‘roots’.
20) Drink any time the phrase ‘Once in a lifetime’ is uttered.
21) Drink any time we see a man in a kilt.
22) Finish the drink of the person to your right if they use music by any of the following artists: KT Tunstall, The Fratellis, Snow Patrol, Amy Macdonald or Susan Boyle.
23) Finish the drink of the person to your left if they quote any of the following writers: Rabbie Burns, Walter Scott, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle or JM Barrie.
24) Each hour, on the hour, drink a finger of Scotch or half a beer depending on whether the latest guesswork poll was in favour of ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ respectively.
25) Mouthful of haggis and finger of Scotch for every local count that goes in favour of the ‘Yes’ campaign.
25b) Chew up and spit out some haggis and take a swig of beer for every local count that goes in favour of the ‘No’ campaign.
Original post on VeryApt.co.uk